Ungrounded Outlet

I had something of an epiphany at work today.

Last week, I really managed to screwed up. The nature and impact of my mistake is not really relevant other than saying that I was fairly (and correctly) humiliated and that I’d really like to never let it happen again.

To that end, I brought it up with my manager today and asked his advice for not ever doing it again. We had a good discussion about it and I took away some good ideas that I hope to have time to implement later this week. What really interested me, though, was when he said, “I hadn’t even heard about this, so don’t worry about it being a career-ending mistake.”

Career-ending? For it to be career-ending, I have to have a career and until today, I’ve never thought of my job in that way. Depending on the day, I’ve either looked at it as a job-like-working-at-Movie-Gallery-except-it-pays-a-lot-more or as something-really-fun-that-I’d-be-doing-anyway-but-they’re-paying-me-for-it-hooray.

But today I realized that I’ll be doing this for the rest of my life (or until I get so old (35) that no one will want to hire me). This is my career. It feels like just yesterday that I was but a wee lad building Lego® spaceships on his bedroom floor. Now I have a mortgage, a car payment, and a career. When the hell did that happen?

Don’t get me wrong: I love my job. Like I said, I’d do it even if they didn’t pay me (and I often do, though typically not in the .Net that my employer loves so very much); being able to do what I love and eat really well is an amazingly sweet gig. Combine that with some great coworkers and (dare I say it?) friends at the office and I have no room for complaint. Indeed, I’m not complaining (not about that, at least).

I just don’t recognize the life I’m living. But it’s a pretty sweet life (aside from the mortgage, etc.), so I hope the guy that would recognize it doesn’t come back to claim it.

I don’t think I’d be willing to give it up.

The fresh new theme on this blog might make you think that I’ve actually found something to say and will start updating more regularly.

Suckers.

Last night, three unrelated things added together into a most interesting confluence.

1) I have “jump out of bed, screaming, and running for the door” nightmares about once or twice a month. Fortunately, I live alone (and my townhouse walls are pretty thick) so no one else has to be too annoyed by this habit.

2) The light in my bedroom is turned on/off using a remote control on my nightstand and not the the wall switch as one might expect.

3) I’ve had Jonathan Coulton’s Code Monkey stuck in my head for a few days now.

1 + 2 + 3) I had the song stuck in my head as I fell asleep last night. At some point, I woke up in my standard “just had a nightmare” way. While this one didn’t scare me enough to want to flee my house like normal, it did provide a fascinating mix of terror and Code Monkey in my brain. Being somewhat freaked out, I wanted to turn the light on. I fumbled with the collection of remotes on my nightstand but in my adled half-asleep state, I couldn’t find the right one! So I did the best thing I could think of and turn my TV on.

My TV was turned to PBS (because that’s the only channel I can get without plugging an antenna in, which I haven’t done upstairs) and this guy was playing and singing a song on the piano.

The song had the exact same freaking chord progression and tempo as the one that was playing in my head. This event seemed so unnatural to me that I spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out if I was actually awake or if this was just a part of a dream. I finally determined that I was awake.

Sadly, that was the most interesting thing that’s happened to me this year, so I just had to blog it. And since I couldn’t come up with a good title, I just used the title of a Buffy episode where the Scoobies are attacked in their dreams. Sadly, my dreams almost never involve a Cheese Man.

I hate clear gummie bears
I like green gummie bears
I hate clear gummie bears
They taste like snot

Some of the pictures I took at the awesome party that Jason and Stephanie threw are at my Flickr page if you’re interested in seeing them.

I finally bought a camera that can fit in my pocket and that I can hold in one hand. In celebration, I’ve posted an emo-myspace-style picture of myself. Honestly, I’m not sure if people even do this anymore. But here ya go all the same.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/willia4/496787382/

Actually, I’ll let our marketing department do it instead.

So many years later, MST3K just isn’t the same without the “Brown Sugar” commercials.